Heartbreak isn't Fun
by QuickSilver5
Summary: Not much, just a little YujinnDarres thing. Yujinn loves Darres, but Darres can't see that . . . It's sort of a re-write of part of the first book, so it's pretty much all cannon. Read, review, and probably complain . . .


Lady Ishtar brought a kyawl kitten home. Apparently, it's mother had turned vampiric in an effort to avenge the death of her other kittens. She was testing it's food all during breakfast, making sure nothing was poisoned. At first, she was confused, because he refused to eat anything. Then, Darres told her that kyawls can't consume solid foods; they only eat liquids. Darres tried to pass it off as common knowledge, but . . . I watched him hunting through the library for information for three hours. Finally, I gave him the book he needed. Not directly, of course, but . . . Why does he have to be so obsessed with the princess? Why can't he notice _me?_  
  
It's almost time for Ishtar's daily magic lesson. I should compose myself. It would not do for any of her bodyguard to see me at less than my finest. And besides, Darres will be there. I want to make a good impression. Plus, make him focus on _me_, and me alone. Perhaps I should make him jealous?  
  
Ah, Lady Ishtar . . . You look lovely today, as always. I bent to lightly kiss her hand. The flowers of the meadow pale in comparison to your beauty. As I said this, I could see Darres, just out of the corner of my eye, switching his attention from Lady Ishtar to me. Not completely, of course, but enough to make me smirk. I knew he was too well trained for that. But the attention he gave me was just slightly more than he should have given me. I smiled at him.  
  
Then Ishtar interrupted. Stupid Ishtar . . . Enough with the flattery. Let's get started.  
  
Darres. In that cute, slightly confused, and just a bit naive way he has. I love his voice. It's so smooth, a perfect baritone . . . I could thank Ishtar for making him almost squeak, but now his attention was back on her. Stupid Ishtar.  
  
Teach me a short spell. Something a beginner can use . . . She smirked slightly. . . . That's still powerful enough to turn my enemy inside out.  
  
Lady Ishtar, be reasonable. Darres was just slightly shocked, and a bit worried. He looked so cute like that, trying to mother hen Ishtar. If only that was all it was. Anything worth learning takes time and practice. If magic were that easy, beggars would be riding broomsticks. Hah! He appreciates magic! I knew he it! At this point, I could dance for joy. Unfortunately, that would ruin my image, and make Darres suspicious, so that will have to wait.  
  
Lady Ishtar just smiles, and says, You're starting to sound like the old man. You'll be going deaf and playing shuffle board next. Still with that annoying, cocky smirk that says she has him, and doesn't care if anyone else wants him, because he's hers. I hate that smile. Because it's true. I can't have him.  
  
He practically chokes in shock. Lady Ish-  
  
I can't stand it anymore. I interrupt him. Now, Darres . . . I put a slight emphasis on his name, just enough to make him blush- If that's what her majesty wants . . . I leave the end hanging. Let Ishtar pick it up. Perhaps it will teach her a lesson that has nothing to do with magic and everything to do with life. I don't really hate her, I just wish I could have Darres.  
  
You mean . . . She's being careful. Good. . . . There _is_ such a spell . . . Yujinn?  
  
I smile slightly and nod. Yes, but just one. Let her make of that what she will.  
  
Her usual attitude wins over her caution. Well then, what are you waiting for? Teach me, teacher! Perfect. She walked right into my trap.  
  
I laid the open book in front of her. This is it . . . The spell of La Gamme.' Was it just my imagination, or was the kyawl in shock?  
  
Yujinn! No!! Darres looks so . . . Horrified. I have to resist the urge to flinch.  
  
Shh! Hold on! I can focus on Ishtar instead. She's waving her hand right under Darres' nose. I'm surprised that she hasn't hit him yet. That's the spell Phelios used in the final battle with King Duzell! The kyawl flinched, slightly. Can't be just my imagination, then . . . But why . . . ?  
  
Ishtar's still speaking, in the soft tones most people use when commenting on a book they are currently reading. Wow! It's really short. I could memorize this, easy . . . I smile.  
  
There is a catch. The spell uses your own life force as a weapon. In other words it will . . . What was it? Oh, yeah! It will turn your enemy inside out,' but you'll also perish in the process.  
  
Darres looks almost betrayed. I don't think he expected me to do that. After all, I help keep her alive; I create ruelles, legsarem charms, and other magical protections to keep her alive.  
  
Ishtar looks serious. Good. She's finally thinking. What's the bloody point in that? She's hiding her defeat in a slight sulk. Only to be expected, really. I mean, what kind of idiot would use a spell that requires her to commit suicide to cast it? She got the point. Now to ram it home . . .  
  
The kind of idiot who expects to defeat her enemy without taking the time to learn the _basic_ spells before learning the more elaborate ones. I give her my best, I'm just an innocent bystander,' smile before adding, Any more requests?  
  
Ishtar looks uncomfortable. Yes. You can get rid of the smug smile and give me my holy magic lesson. I suppose I never have been good at giving off the air of innocence.' Let's memorize more long and useless spells, dreamt up by some doddering old wizard . . . The last mumble was her usual complaint. I've never called her on it.  
  
As you wish. And so we continue the holy magic lesson, in which Darres pays Ishtar more attention than me, and I subtly try to distract him, and then Ishtar unconsciously regains his focus. It's always like this. Sometimes, I really hate it. But it's one of the few places where I can interact with Darres. The hatred never lasts long.  
  
Damnit all to hell and back. I cannot get that stupid kitten out of my head. It just acts too intelligent to be a normal full grown kyawl, much less a kitten. And now it's interfering with my Darres-watching! Instead of spying on Darres walk the rounds past Ishtar's room, occasionally making some sarcastic comment to make him blush, I'm pacing around the inner courtyard, trying to make sense of Ishtar's newest stray.  
  
We need to talk. Darres. Ishtar's other stray. My mind immediately strays to all the reasons he could be here, sounding so serious and looking so damn sexy . . . It's probably not one of those. And so, I resort to the usual taunts that we always use whenever we meet without Ishtar.  
  
Oh, hello Darres. Funny, I don't think I've ever seen you by yourself before. You're like Lady Ishtar's shadow, And oh, how I wish that weren't true- I'd have guessed that you'd be watching her sleep by now. He flushes such a pretty shade of red . . .  
  
You through mocking me?! He's so passionate when he's angry. I think that's why I love teasing him.  
  
Mmm . . . I think so. What can I do for you? I'm currently lounging against the fence, and despite my best efforts, my face has become permanently stuck in cat-caught-the-canary mode. Oh, well. No real biggie, I suppose. What can I do for you? _I'd like to kiss you silly and lick you up and down. Then I could give you a hickey while you moan and-_ no. I'm not going to think about that. I won't . . . _moan and beg for more, for what only I can-_ No!! Damnit, why does my libido always have to act up whenever we're alone together?  
  
He's still blushing. It's about this mornings lesson . . .  
  
What about it? Pretended ignorance causes him to flush in anger and open his mouth to retort, but I decide to save him the trouble. Oh, yeah . . . You want to lecture me because I showed her La Gamme' He's always lecturing Ishtar whenever he gets the chance, so why not me?  
  
He's shouting, now. You know how dangerous that spell is! Yes, I do know how dangerous that spell is. A very former idiotic classmate tried to use it on the teacher once; the teacher, unfortunately, dodged, and we were stuck with him for another year. But that's not the point.  
  
Darres . . . Don't get so upset. You heard what she said, right? I suppose I'll be the one to lecture, this time. The princess you and Sir Keld have spent so much time on, despite her little outbursts and tantrums, would never throw her life away on a whim . . . Not like her inconsiderate great grandfather, King Phelios. She's already more down to earth than the king ever was. And now I'm being bitter . . . I suppose the king was a nice person, and did what had to be done to defeat the Vampire King Duzell, but . . . I guess my heart doesn't agree with what happened after he died. It's practically a kakastocracy, everyone's so obsessed with purifying the bloodline. And look what happened to Lady Ishtar's mother, because of it . . .  
  
Yep, I'm bitter. But Darres is looking so shocked, so I suppose I should stop the inner monologue. His pretty blue eyes are so wide . . . You don't know what you're talking about! Oww . . . My ears hurt . . . Sure, I love his voice, but does he have to be so _loud?_ Righteous fury is hard on the ears.  
  
On the outside, however, I showed only a mild confusion.  
  
I deeply . . . respect King Phelios Don't worry, so do I. But don't you dare stop blushing. Ishtar and Phelios . . . He's stumbling over his words. As cute as it is, it means he's dead serious, so I had better pay attention. They have . . . More in common than anyone realizes. He's worried. If Ishtar really is Phelios, then she's going to be in danger. Danger that Darres can't protect her from.  
  
I soften. I can't help it; his soft blue eyes, looking so _hurt_ . . . I really wish I could actually comfort him, but our antagonistic relationship wouldn't allow it. Not without admitting something, at least, and I'm not sure of myself yet. Darres . . .   
  
Help! Treason! Darres and I both jerked, startled. We were already turning towards the sound when the same voice called out again. It's Lady Ishtar! Darres stumbled, eyes wide in fear and shock as all the air left his lungs. He looked like he had been punched in the gut.  
  
Pieces of the castle flew by in a blur of stone and wall hangings. I vaguely remembered grabbing a sword from one of the ornamental suits of armor and tossing it to Darres. It was longer than his usual practice sword, but it was actually of better make than the ceremonial sword he was currently wearing strapped to his waist. I was running through the spells I had memorized in my head. Neither of us knew what to expect, and we were preparing for the worst we could think of.  
  
Somehow, I realized that we were just about to enter the mainstream hallway that lead to the Princesses bed chambers. I could hear frantic voices calling out for help, running footsteps . . . It would be impossible to get through. Wasn't there . . . _Yes._ A quick glance to the left confirmed my suspicions. This way! I didn't give Darres time to argue, just grabbed his arm and pulled him through the secret passageway. It led to an unused corridor just beside Ishtar's room, where we could turn onto the main hallway . . . Darres skin was smooth against my fingertips, and his breath brushed against my cheek in soft pants.  
  
A sharp right turn, skid to a stop in front of the door, duck past the squalling footman and wait for the maid to get out of the way . . . Darres didn't care as much for decorum as I did, pushing the girl to the side and barging in and slamming the door against the wall, complimenting the earlier crash I heard-_earlier crash? what- oh, the dish_- screaming Lady Ishtar! in sharp contrast to a catty screech-_the kyawl_- and worry rolling off of him in waves . . .  
  
A relieved gasp- Right on time, Captain Darres!  
  
Grab that thing! More horrified, this time. What thing . . . ?  
  
Oh. The kyawl. There's blood on the floor, a bloody paw print on Lady Ishtar's cheek . . . The kitten must have cut himself- _Not Ishtar's blood Not Ishtar's_- Calm. If I don't stay calm, no-one else will. It's okay. He cut his paw on the broken glass; he got spooked, that's all. _Stay CALM!_  
  
Distantly, as if watching a play, I notice how annoyed the kitten looks . . . Offended? Can't be . . .  
  
Ishtar's skin has turned a pale gray, and cold sweat is rolling down her face, making her clothes stick to the curves of her limp body. Poison? Has to be.  
  
Darres, it burns . . . Her voice is weak, rattling through her chest before moving past almost blue lips. Da . . . rres . . .  
  
Lady Ishtar! It's obvious he's in love. I shouldn't be worrying about jealousy now, I should be trying to help Ishtar, but it's so obvious I never had a chance that all I can do is stand here holding Ishtar's pet. I can see the moonlight glisten off of Darres' hair, making it look as soft and silky as the fur I'm clenching now . . .  
  
Darres . . .  
  
Lady Ishtar . . . It's so obvious they're in love. You can hear it in their voices, see it in the way Darres clutches Ishtar's limp hand to his chest.  
  
Gently, I set the kitten down and leave the room, ducking down the same corridor we used to get here, waiting until the murmurs of people have become a background hum before sinking to my knees and sobbing.  
  
Heartbreak isn't fun.


End file.
